


Party Games? In My Keep?

by CloudSpeck



Series: Timbitat Bingo [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Fun, Gen, Immortal Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Being a Little Shit, Just Friends, Lambert Being an Asshole (The Witcher), M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Swearing, Tactile, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25519039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudSpeck/pseuds/CloudSpeck
Summary: My first tile fill out for Timbitat's Bingo: Truth or DareHelp came from CreatePeaceFromChaos and Jordan_Jay✌️Thank you both for that.--After fixing up the keep for the day it's time to relax around the fire with a good drink. Jaskier decides to explain a new game to the Wolves, which they are all willing to try. An innocent game of Truth or Dare ensues.Geraskier if you squint or Jaskel if you squint. Friendship definitely. As always Lambert is my favorite asshole.
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel & Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert
Series: Timbitat Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848748
Comments: 11
Kudos: 181





	Party Games? In My Keep?

When wolf witchers finish work around the keep for the day it is a known fact that you can find them in various states of leisure around the roaring fire, multiple bottles of alcohol sat between the three. Four now if you are to count the bard that sits among them acting out an animated story with his hands.

"- and oh the lord of the manor was positively fuming with me. 'How am I to know such things, my Lord? I am but a simple bard.' I say. It isn't as if the lady had  _ told  _ me that she was his mistress and I was a tad distracted at the time, anyway," Jaskier's hand waves to the side. "Common knowledge, apparently, is that the one sitting in the lord's lap is the one who warms his bed. It is quite hard to run with pants that keep slipping down your legs." The singer's smile is a little crooked, his face warmed with drink as he talks.

Lambert grins into his own drink and Eskel resists the urge to snort as Jaskier goes to continue the story.

"If you didn't shove your sausage in every pantry you came in contact with-" Geralt tries to cut in on Jaskier.

"Who the fuck says shit like that, Geralt? 'Shove your sausage'. You sound older than Vesemir and he's older than dirt." The laugh that comes from Lambert is loud enough to fill the hall.

" _ Anyways,  _ as I was saying...What  _ was _ I saying? Oh, yes, right. The only reason I ended up in lovely Miss Rhian's bed was because of a game I'd been invited into." The look Jaskier gives them all is one of expectation, like he's waiting for them to ask.

Geralt stays resolutely quiet, turning away from him like he's already heard the end of this story.

"Okay then Lark, what sort of fucked up game got you into her bed so easily? Can't have been strip gwent. You're shit at that."

Jaskier's squawk of indignation drowns out the drunken chuckle that Eskel lets out and the snort that Geralt tries to hide behind his hand.

"I am an absolute master talent at gwent, you...You pickled swine.  _ You _ just happen to be an excellent cheat, using your witcher-y senses and whatnot." 

"Oh fuck you, cheating is for talentless hacks like Eskel over here." Lambert lets out a shout when said witcher cuffs him in the back of the head.

"Lam, just because you continuously lose money to me every time we play, doesn't mean you get to accuse me of cheating. Makes you sound like a whining brat."

Jaskier laughs at that and he has to stop and wipe tears from his eyes before continuing to speak.

"We're getting off topic gentlemen. I was saying, about this game, that it's called: Truth, Dare, or Drink. I ended up in her bed on a dare, a very naughty dare." Jaskier takes a heavy sip of his wine and leans into Geralt's side unintentionally. "So, what you do is-"

"You tell a truth or do a dare?" Eskel questions, a teasing smile in place that pulls at his scars. 

"Yes. No. Well, yes. Hush, Darling. Let me tell you the rules, please." Jaskier grins, foot nudging at Eskel's knee.

Geralt groans and Jaskier turns his grin on the white-haired witcher. "Oh come now, why all that noise? You had quite a bit of fun last time we played."

"The last time we played, I was eight cups in before you'd told this story and  _ you _ were barely on your third." He jostles Jaskier enough that the bard slips and his drink sloshes out. Jaskier sucks his teeth before clicking his tongue in reprimand.

"Witcher metabolism, don't act like you were any drunker than I, Dearheart. I'd not believe you."

"You've already played the damn game then? Is that why you look like such a fucking stick in the mud? Or is it a shit game, Geralt?" Lambert grunts, not waiting for an answer before his attention turns completely on the singer licking wine from his fingers. "Lark, I'm going to be bones in the ground before you finish telling us these rules."

"Okay, okay. My, but you certainly are being impatient tonight. Eskel is right, you  _ are _ a brat." Jaskier smirks, barely reacting when Lambert shoves his foot hard into the singer's leg. Jaskier's drink sloshes again.

"I'm curious too, Jas. Please enlighten us before we're too drunk to play."

"Oh alright my darling Eskel. It simply goes as such." Jaskier's fingers raise and he starts tapping them off as he lists each thing. "You're asked 'Truth or Dare' by someone else in the circle. If you say truth, then you must answer a question. Dare means you must do whatever is asked of you. If you'd rather tap out after receiving your question or dare, you take a drink."

"That sounds like a pussy game. No wonder Geralt is bored."

"He wasn't bored with it when we played, you ass. It ended quite pleasurable for him, didn't it Geralt?" Jaskier smirks, eyes shooting to Geralt, whose cheeks have gone a shade darker, and then to the near empty bottles around them. "We will need something stronger of course. No fun to play if you're all more sober than I."

"I made something a winter ago. It's pretty strong."

"You mean that clear shit you added white gull too, because quote 'It's not for flavor, it's to knock you the fuck out when you piss me off.'"

"Lambert, my darling dear, such language when speaking to your brother. You should be ashamed for being so rude when he made you a gift."

Geralt laughs and Eskel shoots Lambert a cocky grin as he stands up and goes to get them more drinks. When he returns, they settle into more comfortable positions. Jaskier lays himself on his back with his head propped on Eskel's stomach, legs in Geralt's lap, Lambert lets himself lay out on his side, hand holding up his head, and Geralt takes to crossing his legs under the bard. Eskel passes around drinks and hands Jaskier his own bottle (safe for consumption by humans and half-elves alike).

"Shall I go first then, darlings?"

"Jaskier, it's taken us forever to get to this point. If you don't start, then I promise whatever questions or dares you get are going to be truly horrendous." Geralt grumbles out though his mouth does quirk at the corner.

Eskel runs his fingers through Jaskier's hair and the singer looks up for a second to give him a sweet smile.

"Alright then, Dearheart. So, cranky as you are, truth or dare."

"Truth. You already asked me everything the last time." Geralt swallows down some of his drink, just to give himself something to do. Jaskier always takes forever when coming up with these.

The bard purses his lips and turns his head toward his White Wolf. He takes a moment to think before giving him a sweet smile. "Something you never want Vesemir to know then. I  _ know  _ I never asked last time. Our game went much differently."

Geralt's frown is one that creases up his forehead and both Lambert and Eskel bust up laughing, Eskel's laughter especially loud.

"Oh, hell, please tell me this isn't going to be the fucking-"

"Vesemir doesn't know that the reason the South Wall went down three winters back is that I lost a match against this asshole during training and went flying into it."

Eskel's laughter grows louder, shaking Jaskier enough that he needs to lean away.

"Our  _ dear _ White Wolf was covered in stone dust head to toe, a foot stuck in one of the holes. It took him 5 minutes to get himself out and to his room before Vesemir showed up to inspect the noise." Eskel snorts then and the noise more than anything causes Jaskier to giggle. He stifles it quickly with a large drink when Geralt glares.

The white-haired witcher shakes his head and his attentions turn to Lambert, the youngest of them steadily drinking through his second mug.

"Your turn Lambert. A truth or a dare?"

"Dare, cause I ain't a bitch." Lambert smirks, leaning forward and taking another swig of moonshine. He's as red-cheeked as Jaskier now.

"Alright then 'Ain't a Bitch', I dare you to run to the gate and back. Naked." Geralt grins sharply.

"What!? Do you want my dick to fall off? It's negative 500 out there."

"So, you are a bitch then?" Eskel raises a brow, voice light enough to be a taunt.

Lambert growls, shucking clothes as he jumps up. "Fuck you all. I'll show you." He's already shivering when he takes off. Geralt and Eskel make a break to follow him. Jaskier sighs and relaxes himself back into Eskel's warm spot, taking another drink as he goes down.

Lambert's run through the snow is cold, cold,  _ cold _ and he slips twice before he hits the gate. The two witchers at the door are laughing loud enough that he can still hear them even as he turns back around. Right before he gets back to the door he crashes hard into a snowbank, yelping loud enough to echo. Fucking hell, he isn't going to be able to have sex ever again. He won't have a dick after this. It's going to fall off. He can feel it turning into an icicle. Eskel pulls him back inside then and wraps a blanket around him as his teeth chatter.

"St-stupid fucking assholes. Dumb fu-fucking dare. F-fuck you guys. You fucking s-suck. The Lark's the only n-normal one." 

Geralt huffs and shoves another drink in the man's hands as he sits down.

"You could have taken a drink, but you didn't want to be a bitch. I'm sure you and the Cat will still be able to have your fun together come spring."

Lambert shoots an obscene finger gesture his way and tightens the blanket around him. He looks between the singer and Eskel, deciding quickly.

"Truth or dare, Lark?"

Jaskier sips at his drink for a few seconds before replacing it with another one when it empties. "Truth please, my Sweet." He giggles just a little.

Lambert rolls his eyes and chooses not to comment on the nickname. "Let's hear your most embarrassing story then."

"Oh, okay, um...Oh, dear." There's another drunken giggle and the bard looks over at Geralt for a moment. Geralt rolls his eyes and refills his mug from the barrel.

"Okay, okay, this is truly one of my lowest moments and it must never leave this keep. Oh, I was perhaps...Twenty or so, must have been. The prime of my life, truly." They all roll their eyes at that, Jaskier had hundreds of years left. 

"It was a lord's party, a Lord Bertram or Lord Bernam. Lord Benjamin? It started with a B, at least. Geralt knows." Jaskier's giggling becomes more frequent. "His little soiree was quite droll and terribly osten-osten...showy, so I thought I'd have some fun for myself when my set was over." He takes another drink and then frowns at it when he notices how low it's gotten. My, they drain so fast. Eskel hands him another with a smile.

"Thank you, Darling. So very kind." Jaskier pats Eskel's leg and lays back against him again. "You see, the lady of the house was quite bored as well and she was _ such _ a fan of my music. She was quite lovely. Naturally I was invited to a lady's chambers and really who am I to refuse? You see because I am quite charming and all."

Geralt shakes his head and Jaskier purses his lips, nudging his foot into Geralt's stomach. " _I_ _am_ , I charmed all of you didn't I and you're a brick wall half the time. Now don't interrupt me."

"Yeah Geralt, don't interrupt him."

"Shut up, Lambert."

"Make me, you dick." Lambert's tongue sticks out at the white-haired witcher childishly.

"Do you want him to finish his truth or is it bedtime for all of us?" Eskel mumbles into Jaskier's hair, blowing air past his ear. Jaskier leans further into him with a blush starting to stain his cheeks.

"A-As I said, I ended up in her room and I had her down to her shift, right, laying out on the bed. Lambert, Sweet, she had the loveliest breasts and hips. A masterpiece of womanhood and her hair was just fanning out all over the bed underneath her." Jaskier looks like he's getting caught up in the memory and Geralt knocks his legs up.. The bard squeaks, tumbling back.

"Nngh, sorry, sorry Dearheart. The lord bursts in just as I get my pants down. Screeching about impropriety and guards, so I make for the window." Jaskier snort-laughs and he motions toward Geralt. " _ He _ knocks the door down just as I get my leg over the sill and I was so damn surprised by it all that I fell." The bard's hands look like he might be motioning a person toppling, but they're rather sloppy by now.

Jaskier's laughter is unattractive, drunken snorts and giggling now turned to chuckles. It takes him nearly a minute to calm down enough to continue. "My pants got caught on the torch post under her window and I ended up hanging, swinging back and forth upside-down. My smalls on view for the whole of his estate to see."

Lambert's drunk laughter joins Jaskier's chuckles and the two play off each other for a while. It's enough to cause Geralt and Eskel to start their much more sober laughter.

"Okay, alright. Shh. Shh." The bard holds a wobbling finger to his lips. "Eskel, my Darling, your truth. Your truth or dare?"

"Jaskier, how many drinks have you had?" The man under him pushes the bard's hair back to get a better look at him.

"It's not my turn for truth, Darling. I can hold my drink just fine." The singer pats his face crookedly and waits for an answer.

"Dare then, I suppose." He sighs out.

Jaskier's eyes seem to glint and his smile twists in amusement. "Do your best impression of someone in the room."

"Anyone in here?" Jaskier nods in answer to the question, looking about for who Eskel might pick.

Eskel's voice goes flirty and his lids droop just barely. "Alright then, darling. I can do such a task if you ask it of me. Geralt, my dearest heart. I believe I shall ask truth or dare of you this time."

Jaskier's head whips back and he gapes at him, eyes wide. "I do not sound like-"

"Oh fuck me. Jaskier, it's you. Holy shit, it's you. Eskel's like a fucking doppler with that voice. Who knew someone could reach that level of flirty and excitable."

"Lambert, kindly shut up or I'll give you some terrible new nicknames when I write a song about you. How does 'Baby Wolf' sound? Nice ring to it, Sweet? Be-cause the Continent will be calling you that within the month." The singer's threat comes out slurry, the harsh tone lost to it.

"Alright Bard, calm down now." Geralt placates while shooting a look Eskel' way. The other Wolf nods discreetly and slides Jaskier's drink away from them.

"Was the truth, don't have to be so sore." Lambert chugs the rest of his drink down.

"I think I'll go with a dare." Geralt mumbles, moving a little closer to check over Jaskier. Apparently, too many drinks over his usual limit of six (witcher drink especially) led to a very inebriated and cranky bard.

"Two mugs of moonshine, drink up White Wolf." Eskel holds out his almost full mug and takes a tighter hold of the calmed singer, running fingers through his hair as he had earlier.

Geralt's grunt is loud and he makes a face before he even touches the mug. "You're going to knock me on my ass with this. You know that, right?"

"Well aware, but I'm pretty sure Lam is out over there and Jaskier is well on his way to being there too. So have at it, Pretty Boy."

There's a snore from the other side of the blankets to prove Eskel's words so Geralt brings both mugs close, inhales one and then the other, closing his mouth so he doesn't splutter any out. His eyes burn with it.

"Fuck."

"I did make it to knock that little shit out. There's enough white gull in there that he'll miss half the day tomorrow." The other witcher seems proud of the accomplishment.

"And Jaskier?" The bard turns in Eskel's arms, tightening his own hold around the wolf's waist.

"Oh, he's going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. Do you want him in your bed? Or mine?"

"Mine." Geralt holds his arms out patiently. Eskel rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"You really get possessive of him sometimes, you know?" Eskel shuffles the bard over to Geralt and then moves to heft Lambert and the blanket covering him into his arms.

"He  _ is  _ my bard." 

"Whatever you say, 'Dearheart'." 

The walk back to their rooms goes easily until Vesemir pokes his head out, one stern eyebrow raised.

"You better have that mess cleaned up before I'm awake in the morning or it's the wall for you three and kitchen duty for him."

The two younger witchers blanch, drunkenness forgotten. Vesemir closes the door on them without waiting for an answer.

"Well...Fuck." It's mumbled as the two stalk off to their rooms.


End file.
